Can I trust people? |

Psychologists have studied many ways to approach the "whys" and "hows" of trust. And the short answer to the question of "can you trust people?" is yes.

You can trust people to act according to patterns of behavior that become recognizable over time. And you can trust people to participate in the simple economics of relationships for the most part.

Trust your ride to be late the twentieth time if she was late on the first nineteen times. Trust the person who you helped to pass math to help you learn to cook. We are a species driven by habit and by a social sensibility that makes us want relationships to be equitable. 

Social exchange theory: Some theories suggest that we learn to trust as the result of social exchanges that take place over time wherein we literally see reciprocity in a relationship. Thus social exchange theory gives a positive answer to this question, indicating that you can trust people who have already shown that they will act equitably and reciprocally. If you act honestly, the other person will act honestly too.

The idea of reciprocity seems key here. You will find that you can trust people when you also act in ways that will develop trust in others. Any relationship or system of give-and-take will rely heavily on the input from both sides. 

We should note here that the question of trust is not necessarily the same as a question of reliance. Asking if we should rely on another person entails more expectations than simple trust.

For example, if a person is in your house and you have your wallet on the table and then leave the room, you might trust that this person will not take money from your wallet. In another scenario, if there are two people in the room and one of them is a friend and the other a stranger, you might rely on the friend to keep your money safe from the stranger.

In the second scenario, we are looking at the friend as a stand-in for yourself. Thus questions of trust imply an understanding of separation and distance so that when we consider questions of trust we take into account the idea that there is a distance between ourselves and the person we may or may not trust.

Questions of reliance and reliability have to take into account important questions of identification. (To what extent am I bonded to the person in question? To what extent can I expect this person to act on my behalf?)

So, in asking if you can trust people we should be clear that you are asking an question of reciprocity and exchange, not a question of how much you can count on someone to come through for you in a time of need. 

If we take a step back and look at how trust in the big picture, we can see that we trust people to a significant extent simply in order to navigate the world. We trust people to stay on their side of the road while driving. We trust people to pay for the things they leave the store with. We trust people not to attack us on the street. Imagine a world where these scenarios were not imbued with a social trust. 

On a more intimate level, however, we have to examine the nature of the relationships we are in and ask questions about how much give-and-take is going on. In what ways in a relationship successfully reciprocal? As long as both parties are giving something (and not always the same thing), each party can trust in the other to hold up his or her end of the bargain.

Social Constructionism: If you want to take this inquiry into the realm of the theory of psychology, you might consider looking at the ways social construction theory suggests that are very sense of reality is an outgrowth of the social. We are inherently cooperative in the construction of meaning and so live in a world of mind where trust is one factor among many in an interplay that defines our experience.   

In this light, asking if we can trust people is a complex question that opens doors to further questions about creating meaning in isolation and defining identity in meaningful ways vis a vis a weak or strong social contract.

How does your ability to trust affect your position within a social network functions as the basis of your world-view? How does your ability to participate in an exchange of ideas, values, etc. determine not only who you are as an individual but what your reality becomes?