What is the theme and meaning of the poem "My Rules"?

This humorous poem by Shel Silverstein communicates the theme that marriage should be a mutually beneficial partnership, but many people get married because of how they believe it will benefit them personally. In the poem, the speaker, presumably a man, speaks to a woman and lists his "rules" for everything she must be prepared to do "if you want to marry me." Not only does the woman have to perform traditional woman's roles like cooking...

This humorous poem by Shel Silverstein communicates the theme that marriage should be a mutually beneficial partnership, but many people get married because of how they believe it will benefit them personally. In the poem, the speaker, presumably a man, speaks to a woman and lists his "rules" for everything she must be prepared to do "if you want to marry me." Not only does the woman have to perform traditional woman's roles like cooking and sewing while being "still while I talk," but she must also nurture him emotionally and physically ("soothe my troubled mind, / And develop the knack for scratching my back") and perform traditional male duties such as raking leaves and shoveling the walk in inclement weather. Not surprisingly, the woman to whom he is speaking turns and walks away, as suggested by the final line: "And -- hey -- where are you going?" This shows that no self-respecting person would submit to such an arrangement--which would be little more than slavery.

The satirical themes of the poem are many. First, it satirizes a day when women did have to comply with nearly any of the wishes laid out by her husband and had no recourse in society or law. Nowadays women have more rights, but since gender roles are not as well defined, even more can be asked of a woman in an abusive relationship than a man would have dared ask in, say, Victorian London--for example, hard physical labor such as shoveling. So this poem also satirizes the "equal marriage" where gender roles aren't defined because it may only mean that the woman has even more to do than in a traditional marriage. Third, it satirizes narcissists. A narcissist seeks only his own pleasure and satisfaction without regard to the feelings of others. Hence the speaker feels justified in laying out "my rules" for marriage without considering what his potential wife's rules might be, and he is surprised when the woman stands up for herself and is not interested in being his servant 24/7.