When Scout is lectured by Calpurnia about her table manners, Calpurnia tells her that she is a disgrace to her family. What does she mean by this?

In chapter three, Jem invites young Walter Cunningham over for lunch on the first day of school in an effort to make peace after Scout roughs him up in the school yard. While at lunch, Walter asks for maple syrup and then pours it all over his vegetables and meat. Scout freaks out by asking very excitedly what the "sam hill" he was doing (24). Walter becomes embarrassed and Calpurnia pulls Scout into the kitchen...

In chapter three, Jem invites young Walter Cunningham over for lunch on the first day of school in an effort to make peace after Scout roughs him up in the school yard. While at lunch, Walter asks for maple syrup and then pours it all over his vegetables and meat. Scout freaks out by asking very excitedly what the "sam hill" he was doing (24). Walter becomes embarrassed and Calpurnia pulls Scout into the kitchen for a lecture. Calpurnia strongly explains that Scout's job as a hostess is to allow her guest to do whatever he wants. Being a good hostess means not making a guest feel uncomfortable in any way. Specifically, Calpurnia says the following:

"Don't matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this house's yo' comp'ny, and don't you let me catch you remarkin' on their ways like you was so high and mighty! Yo' folks might be better'n the Cunninghams but it don't count for nothing' the way you're disgracin' 'em--if you can't act fit to eat at the table you can just set here and eat in the kitchen!" (25).

First of all, Calpurnia doesn't say that Scout is a disgrace, she says that by the way Scout is acting, she is disgracing the Finch name and reputation. In a way, Scout is dishonoring her parents by not showing more respect to Walter who is a guest in their home. Calpurnia, in her own way, is saying that just because the Finch family might be socially and economically better off than someone else, it doesn't account for anything honorable if she can't act with compassion and grace. Another way to say it is for people who have a lot of opportunity and fortune in life, they aren't worth much if they can't also be kind and graceful to others who are socially and economically "beneath" them.