What are some quotes that show how women abuse themselves? And how is Esperanza's mom strong and independent?

The women portrayed in The House on Mango Street put up with a lot from men; and it doesn't matter if it is a father, husband, or boyfriend, men are the dominant figures in their lives. Although capable of great power, many of the women on Mango Street settle for less because of fear as well. Therefore, many women abuse themselves by giving away their power to men or by giving in to fear. For example, Minerva is just a little older than Esperanza, maybe not even twenty years-old, but she already has two kids and a husband who is in and out of her life. 

"One day she is through and lets him know enough is enough. Out the door he goes. Clothes, records, shoes. Out the window and the door locked. But that night he comes back and sends a big rock through the window. Then he is sorry and she opens the door again. Same story" (85).

Minerva hurts herself every time she allows that man back into her apartment and her life. It's as if the relationship is an addiction that she can't shake; and since there's nowhere else for her to go, the cycle repeats itself over and over again.

An example of a woman who hurts herself because of fear is Mamacita. Mamacita is a woman with a baby who was brought over by her husband from another country. She's so homesick and scared that she never does anything to free herself from her apartment. She just stays inside all the time. 

"Whatever her reasons, whether she is fat, or can't climb the stairs, or is afraid of English, she won't come down. She sits all day by the window and plays the Spanish radio show and sings all the homesick songs about her country in a voice that sounds like a seagull" (77).

Fear can be addicting, too. Excuses are addicting. Mamacita can't get out of her vicious cycle, either. Mamacita settles for a lonely life rather than getting out there and making friends and learning English.

Esperanza's mother, however, is strong because many women on Mango Street have given up, accepted their fates, and stay indoors; but she keeps dreaming. For instance, Mama and Papa like to take their girls to see big houses on the hills each Sunday. When Mama starts talking about winning the lottery one day, Esperanza stops listening. What she doesn't realize is that Mama's dreaming helps to keep her hope alive in a difficult world. Mama never gave up on getting a house, either. It wasn't what she pictured for her family, but she got a house so they could get out of living in an apartment. She does the best with what she has and she has a good relationship with her husband, too. Of all the women on Mango Street, Mama has a pretty good life.